Month: January 2022

I played Bonopoly last night. It’s like Monopoly but where the streets have no name.

Q: What do you call an igloo without a toilet? A: An ig

The capital of Ireland is the world’s fastest growing city because it’s Dublin every year

A 6ft tall woman just divorced her 5ft husband. They just couldn’t see eye to eye.

Bruce Willis, Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are making plans for an action hero movie, based on famous classical composers. Bruce says “I’ll be Beethoven”. Sly says “I’ll be Handel”. And Arnie says “I’ll be Bach”.

I got pulled over the other day. The cops asked me if I had a police record. I told them “nah, just have their CD”.

Learn sign language… it’s very handy.

I was playing with my dog and throwing a ball. No matter how far I threw the ball the dog brought it back. I decided to wrap the ball up and I posted it to Brisbane. The dog caught a train up there and bought it back. Does that sound far fetched?

I got offered a new job in Seoul. I though it was time for a Korea change.

My friend really really likes water, I said “whatever floats your boat”