Category: Dad Jokes

What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi

Went to see a play the other night and soon after had a panic attack. The doctor told me I suffer from post-dramatic stress disorder!

What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie!

Did you hear about the next Liam Neeson movie where he struggles with being unappreciated for rescuing family members? It’s called Taken 4 Granted.

The amount of people who shout ‘boo’ to their friends has risen by 85%. Thats a frightening statistic

What time did the Chinese man go to the dentist? Tooth hurty

I won two tickets to an Elvis tribute show and I was told I could cash them in. The text I received told me to press 1 for the money, 2 for the show!!

Always look for a plastic surgeon who is known to raise a few eyebrows.

Got in trouble at the zoo for lining all the squirrels up in order of height… They don’t like me critter sizing

Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder