Month: March 2023

Dad joined facebook…kid’s status update:- “Dad on fb.. WTF!!!! . dad commented ‘what is wtf’?? kid replied ‘welcome to facebook’

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late? Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, ‘Mike, is that you?’ Wife #1: But I still don’t understand. How did that kept him from staying out? Wife #2: My husband’s name is Andrew.

I was on a roll today till i realised it was my lunch and it was now ruined

What is a wedding tragedy? To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money.

A man got on a double-decker bus and climbed to the upper deck. A few minutes later, he staggered down the steps, muttering to himself. “Is anything the matter?” asked the driver. “IT AIN’T SAFE UP THERE,” said the man. “NO DRIVER.”

Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: “Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand “

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

Professor: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? STUDENT: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl!

Got pulled over on the way home by the cops, they noticed something about my car. “sir, are you aware you have two snakes on your windshield?” “yea I did. Theyre my windshield vipers”.

Some crocodiles can grow up to 14 feet… But usually they only have 4!