Month: March 2026

I’ve discovered a formula for invisibility. All I need to do now is find the piece of paper I wrote it on

A bear walks into a pub. The Barman asks the bear “What will it be” The Bear says “I’ll have a bourbon.. …… … …. …… …… “and coke” Barman “Why the big pause” Bear (holding up his paws) “I’ve had these all my life”

My daughter’s hamster escaped from its cage last night so I spent 4 hours looking for it. No luck though, he definitely wasn’t in the pub.

today i laugh in the faces of all those people who mocked me when i told them i was going to design a cloak of invisibility….if only they could see me now!!

Cause havoc on The Voice by performing the Ace of Base classic Don’t Turn Around.

Why are there no pain killers in the jungle? Because parrots-eat-em-all…

To the guy that returned my empty wallet.… I don’t know how to repay you

To the woman who helped me find my way when I was lost in the labyrinth, I think you’re amazing.

These so-called ‘foodbanks’ are a total rip-off. I deposited some cake at my local one last week, and when I went to take it out today they said they’d given it away to someone else. Unbelievable.

I answered the phone today and all I heard was sneezing & coughing. Another cold caller.