Month: February 2026

What did the bowl study for at University? A Spatula of Arts!

I’ve been asked to write a feature on the pros and cons of the iPhone versus a packet of Jaffa Cakes. But I said this was pointless as it was like comparing apples with oranges!

A man said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

“Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?” asked my mate. “Go on then,” I replied. “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” he screamed. I said, “That’s Superman.” He said, “Thanks, I’ve been practising.”

Why shouldn’t you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.

What did the lawyer say to the tennis player? I’ll see you in court and don’t cause a racquet

A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger. “What’s wrong, Shelly?” Asks her roommate. “Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn’t even get into Mime class.” “Why not?” “How should I know? You can’t get a word out of those people!”

Last night I bought an alcoholic ginger beer!….Gee…he wasn’t happy!

My dyslexia has just hit a new owl.

How can you tell if your drowning in milk? when it gets pasteurise