Month: April 2023

Girlfriend: I need to learn how to make this Peking duck! Tastes so yummy! Dad: Oh it’s very easy. Just roast it like you would normally but open one of its eyes before you do so!

Bert: Speakin’ o’ names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith. Uncle Albert: What’s the name of his other leg?

Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? Because they all have phones.

Your looking a little blue Yeah, im not all white

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk … The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.

A boy came running to the kitchen. Boy: Dad, there is an ugly monster at the door. Dad (Looking at his wife): Tell him we have already got one!

Short tempered Customer: What is the meaning of this cockroach in my salad? Waiter: How would i know sir, i am not a fortune teller.

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?”

We were in the lounge room watching a blow fly buzz around the room when finally it landed on the clock. Then the comment came “time flies”

Youre a cheat! shouted the client to his lawyer. Youre a scoundrel! Youve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone! Thats gratitude, said the offended lawyer. And right after I named my new yacht after you.