Month: November 2025

What happened when customers complained about the bright lights in a Chinese restaurant? The manager decided to dim sum

Went to a weight watchers meeting and threw a bag of maltezers on the floor best game of hungry hippos ive seen in ages.

I’ve got a very lucrative job clearing leaves. I’m raking it in.

Had a weird dream last night that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

Teacher: “Johnny, I want you to explain the meaning of the word ‘burdensome’. Johnny: “Well Miss, If you put 10 cats in a room with 5 birds and you close all the doors and windows, then come back 30 minutes later and there are no birds, but still 10 cats… You know there is a bird in some.”

Having trouble sleeping recently. Keep waking up shouting ‘the hobbit, the hobbit!’ Think I’m Tolkein in my sleep?!

Well that’s the wife’s presents sorted, got her a new bag and a belt. That Hoover should pick up great when there fitted. I have a phobia of German sausages…not sure why but I just fear the wurst.

Doc gave me 4 months to live, so i shot him. Judge gave me 20 year.

Wife says to husband “My feet are cold” Husband replies “Mine are cold as well, ones called left and ones called right”

I drove past an ice truck and thought. ………..hey that’s a cool job