Month: June 2026

My wife’s always ordering me a-round, in fact I don’t even have to get my wallet out in pubs these days……

I wish I knew who kicked the jack from under my car as I was working on it…the suspension is killing me…

I saw two giraffes playing basketball today. That game was neck and neck.

I work in McDonald’s and a customer was rude to me today, so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink. Just ice was served.

For a while Houdinin used trap doors in every act. It was a stage he was going through.

Why are the front of Apple Stores all windows?

What’s the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.

I was flicking through my local newspaper and came across an advertisement saying “ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 – $40,000” So I called them up and said “The answer is Minus $5,000.”

How many evolutionists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But it takes 8 million years

Hotel manager: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have a room vacant.” Guest: “Well look, if Prince Charles was coming, you’d have a room for him, wouldn’t you?” Hotel manager: “Well, yes sir, I suppose we would.” Guest: Well he’s not coming, so I’ll have his room”.