Month: February 2022

Yesterday I witnessed 2 kids being pulled over by police, one was drinking battery acid the other fireworks. I believe they have charged one and let the there kid off.

A chicken spotted another chicken on the other side of the road and yelled out “hey you …how did you get on the other side of the road?” The other chicken replied “you idiot you ARE on the other side of the road!”

My daughter wanted a pet spider but they were $90 at the pet shop. I think I will just get one of the web!

Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone!

How do you get a Scotsman onto the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well…

They climbed the bell tower and the guy ran toward the bell and hit it with his head. They gave him the job.

A church’s bell ringer passed away. So they posted the position and a man came in with no arms wanting the job. The clergy weren’t sure he could do it, but he convinced them to let him try it.

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

A guy tried to sell me a coffin the other day. I told him that’s the last thing I need.