Month: March 2022

I invented a new drink called the F5. It’s so refreshing

My wife has left a note on the kitchen table saying that she’s leaving me because of my obsession with online poker. I think she’s bluffing, so I’m going to call her.

someone has just thrown a lump of cheese at me! I thought to myself that’s not very mature!!

A magician appeared in court today. He then apologised, and promptly disappeared again…

finally got rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!

Police were called to local Day care centre this afternoon There was 4 kids resisting a rest

I saw a guy telling Dad Jokes at bowling the other night. I though “that’s right up my alley”

I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet and he sent me a large goat like animal with a long neck! Turns out I phoned dial-a-lama…..

A stormtrooper went to buy a mobile phone and and was interested in a Samsung Galaxy. The salesman waved his hand at him and said “This is not the droid you’re looking for”

Dad: Two men were sailing in a boat. Their names were Pete and Repete. Pete fell out of the boat. Who was left? Kids: Repete. Dad: OK. Two men were sailing…