Dad Joke: 586

As I was strolling through my local produce department, I noticed the apples were working out. When I asked an employee what was going on he replied, “They are doing their ‘core training’ of course!”

Dad Joke: 585

I told my friend she had drawn her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

Dad Joke: 584

I didn’t like my beard at first but then it grew on me.

Dad Joke: 583

Why was your computer cold? Because you left windows open!

Dad Joke: 582

i told my cat i was gonna teach him to speak English. He looked at me & said “Me? how?”

Dad Joke: 581

What did the lawyer say to the batsman? ”Your out on bail”

Dad Joke: 580

I wrote a song about a Tortilla, well actually it’s a Wrap.

Dad Joke: 579

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself. “Well this changes everything”

Dad Joke: 578

Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.

Dad Joke: 577

I had a pet lizard, I called him tiny. He was my newt