Author: DJAdmin

I watched a film with a twist at the end last night… It completely ruined the projector.

A man has been running around stealing people’s gates at night in my area. The police won’t do anything about it though. They’re worried he’ll take offense.

“Young man,” said the angry father, “didn’t I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter home?” “Yes, Sir,” said the boy. “It was going to strike ten, but I grabbed the gong and held it so it wouldn’t disturb you.” “I WILL BE A SO-AND-SO,” said the father. “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT IN MY YOUNGER DAYS?”

What are dog biscuits made from? Collie flour.

One pirate said to another pirate ” Arrr where are your buccaneers” he replied ” Arrre you blind? they’re either side of my buccan head”

What is the best hand to write with? Neither – it’s best to write with a pen!

What sits in the oven and sings? Elton Scone

What did the necktie say to the hat? You go on a head. I’ll hang around for awhile.

So there’s this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: “This parking space belongs to the Wizard. Violators will be toad.”

What happened to the cat who ate a ball of yarn? She had mittens!