Author: DJAdmin

Did you hear about the boy who kept stealing rhubarb? He was taken into custardy!

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.” And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

Why was the little inkblot so unhappy? Because his mother was in the pen and they didn’t know how long the sentence would be

who is the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table? Sir Cumfrence

Recently, my wife and I went shopping in Coles. Because I’m not able to walk around for too long, I sat in the car while she went into the shop with my shopping list for salad items. About ten minutes later, she rang me on my mobile phone and asked me what type of olives I wanted. She told me the olives that were available were pitted, stuffed, and stoned. I told her to get stuffed – and that’s when the argument started.

I tried a Wookie steak the other day… It was Chewie.