Author: DJAdmin

Dad: Is it cold outside? Mum: No, it’s not to bad. I was just out there. Dad: No wind? Mum: No Dad: None, you didn’t pass any? Mum: (puzzled) I didn’t pass any wind?… oh very funny -_-

A B Flat, , an E Flat and a G Flat all walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors”.

What do you call a lady who sets fire to her bills? Burn-a-debt

Acupuncture? I really don’t get the point of it.

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river. “What did you do that for?” Asked a passing giraffe. “Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago.” “Wow, what a memory,” commented the giraffe. “Yes,” said the elephant, “turtle recall”.

What’s the cheapest cut of meat? Venison thigh, because it’s under a buck.

Mrs Cotton Ball arrives home from the hairdresser… Mr Cotton Ball: “How was the new hair stylist?” Mrs Cotton Ball: “She was so good, she blew me away!”

What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn? Where’s pop corn?

The dogs in my local area are very clumsy. I’ve just had to untangle yet another one from a post outside the newsagents this morning.

What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.