Author: DJAdmin

I’ve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner … well, it was just collecting dust

Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!

I wish people wouldn’t put dart boards on the ceiling. They make me want to throw up.

The Russians poisoned all of the wheat supply in Ukraine, causing many deaths. Cereal killers!

Did you hear that the human cannonball from the circus died the other day? The ringmaster said it would be hard to find someone of his calibre to replace him.

Cat jokes freak meowt!

“I used to be in a band called 980 mb, we don’t have a gig yet.”

“I was in a band called “Cancelled” but no one would turn up to our gigs”

“I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’… you probably saw our posters.”

Bought some cheap scouring pads the other day, they weren’t up to scratch.