Author: DJAdmin

After finding 5 Mars Bars, 3 Snickers, a Flake and a packet of m&m’s, I’m starting to think I’m not cut out to be a bounty hunter..

Why is it easy to weigh fish? Because they have scales.

I have invented a new way to play tennis that doesn’t make any noise. It’s the same game but without the racquet.

Sweet Dreams are made of Cheese, Who am I to dis a Brie, I cheddar the world, for feta cheese, Everybody Needs a Stilton

What’s the secret prize in the Zombie Lottery? I’d give you a clue, but it would be a dead giveaway!!!

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay they’d be bagels!

I wanted to sue the airline company for damaging my luggage. I went to see a lawyer and i showed him how damaged my bags were. He said ‘you don’t have much of a case’.

Irishman takes his goldfish to the vet says its got epilepsy. The vet says “it looks calm enough to me” Paddy says “I haven’t taken it out the bowl yet!

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

3 turtles walk into a bar, 1 sits at the piano and starts playing while the other 2 start singing along. The barman was astounded, and asked the 2 singing where they learnt to sing like that. To which they pointed to the one on the piano and said “he tortois…”