Dad Joke: 1153

I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.

Dad Joke: 1152

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered now.

Dad Joke: 1151

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.

Dad Joke: 1150

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.

Dad Joke: 1149

I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Dad Joke: 1148

What is E.T. short for?
He has really small legs.

Dad Joke: 1147

What do you call three Irish lumberjacks?
Tree fellers.

Dad Joke: 1146

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed…
2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

Dad Joke: 1145

Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the ark hives.

Dad Joke: 1144

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”