Month: May 2023

What has four legs and flies? Two pairs of pants.

fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone. I was in stitches for two weeks.

Where does the general keep his armies? Up his sleevies!

I’ve just spent the past hour chasing a daddy long legs around my house… Then I realised I had a crack in my glasses!!

“One day, when I was very young, my family and I were getting ready to leave the house. I was being bratty and uncooperative so I had this conversation with my dad: Me: Daddy, daddy, daddy, put my shoes on! Dad: I don’t think they’d fit me, Joey.”

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it is very dark.

Dad picks up a 1 kg block of regular cheese and a 1 kg block of light cheese. He weighs them in his hands and announces “This one is no lighter than that one, that’s false advertising” (and I quietly move to another aisle in the supermarket).

What did the salt say to the pepper? “Hey baby, what’s shakin!!”

I spotted a tiger at the zoo yesterday… It looks like a leopard now.

What did the daddy sheep say to the mummy sheep? I love ewe