The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?”
We were in the lounge room watching a blow fly buzz around the room when finally it landed on the clock. Then the comment came “time flies”
Youre a cheat! shouted the client to his lawyer. Youre a scoundrel! Youve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone! Thats gratitude, said the offended lawyer. And right after I named my new yacht after you.
Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water? One student: Its “h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.”
Fast forward… The year is 2050… Couple getting married at church… Priest: Do you agree to change your FACEBOOK status from *single* to *married*?
A man got on a double-decker bus and
climbed to the upper deck. A few minutes later, he staggered down the steps,
muttering to himself. “Is anything the matter?” asked the driver.
“IT AIN’T SAFE UP THERE,” said the man. “NO DRIVER.”
Father: What did you learn at school.? Kid: Give and take. Father: Good. Kid: Yes, I gave a boy a punch and took his lunch..
Employer to applicant: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons? Jose and hose b
Little Donna was in the back yard filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing, he asked, “What are you doing there, Donna?” “My goldfish died,” replied little Donna tearfully without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor laughed and said condescendingly, “That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Little Donna patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”