Author: DJAdmin

Short tempered Customer: What is the meaning of this cockroach in my salad? Waiter: How would i know sir, i am not a fortune teller.

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?”

We were in the lounge room watching a blow fly buzz around the room when finally it landed on the clock. Then the comment came “time flies”

Youre a cheat! shouted the client to his lawyer. Youre a scoundrel! Youve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone! Thats gratitude, said the offended lawyer. And right after I named my new yacht after you.

Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water? One student: Its “h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.”

Fast forward… The year is 2050… Couple getting married at church… Priest: Do you agree to change your FACEBOOK status from *single* to *married*?

A man got on a double-decker bus and
climbed to the upper deck. A few minutes later, he staggered down the steps,
muttering to himself. “Is anything the matter?” asked the driver.
“IT AIN’T SAFE UP THERE,” said the man. “NO DRIVER.”

Father: What did you learn at school.? Kid: Give and take. Father: Good. Kid: Yes, I gave a boy a punch and took his lunch.. 

Employer to applicant: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons? Jose and hose b