An Accountant went to the Dr complaining of insomnia. The Dr asked him if he tried counting sheep. The Accountant replied “Yes, I tried that last night, but I made a mistake and it took me 4 hours to find it and fix it”
I wanted bet the butcher $20 that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said “no, the steaks are too high”
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
When I was a child, my dad tried to force feed me. After a while, my mother snapped and screamed, ‘Just use a spoon John your not a Jedi’.
A Snail won the Lotto, so he went into a Ferrari Dealer and ordered a red one and asked if they could paint an “S” on each door. The salesman asked “Why?”. The snail replied “So when I drive past, people look at me and say Look at that S Car go”.
Which US State has the smallest soft drinks? MiniSoda
Have you heard what Mozart is doing lately? Decomposing.
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche…
What do you get if you mix one Barium atom with two Sodium atoms? BaNaNa
Dad: Is it cold outside? Mum: No, it’s not to bad. I was just out there. Dad: No wind? Mum: No Dad: None, you didn’t pass any? Mum: (puzzled) I didn’t pass any wind?… oh very funny -_-