A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?” The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
How do horses shop online? On E-Bray!
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
Why should one always be nice to a psychic? …Because everyone likes a happy medium.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win… No pun in ten did!
A pony walks into the bar and coughs noisily. The bartender says “that doesn’t sound healthy, do you have a cold?” The pony replies “I’m fine, I’m just a little horse”
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? In Dubai they don’t watch the Flintstones… but Abu Dhabi do!
What did the limestone say to the basalt? Don’t take me for granite!
I start my new job tomorrow as a trainee bell ringer. I’m hoping someone will be there in the morning to show me the ropes.
Rumours of a food shortage at this year’s Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.