Author: DJAdmin

My mate set me up on a blind date. He said, “She’s a lovely girl, but there’s something you should know… She’s expecting a baby.” I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy/diaper.

What’s loud and sounds like apples? APPLES!

What’s et short for? Because he has little legs.

What did the cheese say when it saw it self in the mirror? helou-mi

I’m loving my new car park game. I’m on level 7 already!

Where do Dutch rodents live? Hamsterdam

Why did the coach give all his players a lighter? Because they lost all their matches.

I bought some rocket salad yesterday…..but it went off before I could eat it!

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!

I went to a Chinese restaurant the other day and the waiter told me I’d have to eat my duck with my eyes closed. I asked him why and he said because it was a “No Peking Duck”.