Author: DJAdmin

Peanut butter jokes aren’t funny until you spread them.

A vulture with two dead raccoons boards an aircraft….. The Stewardess promptly says… “sorry sir only one carrion item”

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

I went to the doctor to tell him about my craving for collecting iPads. He gave me some tablets.

I was dating an astronaut but she broke up with me…. apparently she needed more space

Why is “Where’s Wally” always wearing a striped shirt? He doesn’t want to be spotted.

Some people say jokes don’t always translate well between text & speech, but I disagree. I guess it’s as they say… Tomato tomato.

If you throw a pencil up in the air Is it still stationery?

What’s bigger then a tow truck? A foot truck!

David Beckham gets into a London taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear-view mirror. After about 5 minutes the driver says “OK give me a clue”. Beckham says “I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in the USA and got over 100 caps for England, is that enough?”. The driver says: “No you thick clod, where do you want to go?”