Author: DJAdmin

What do you call a man with no hair? Shaun!

Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Broken Pencil. Broken Pencil who? Never mind it’s pointless.

I thought about that story going round that processed meat can cause cancer; I think it’s spam.

Me: Honey, it’s really muggy out today Wife: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving you Me: (sips coffee from a bowl) Sometimes when I’m working in the garden, it strains my eyes. So I have to use my weeding glasses.

I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

Why don’t Ghosts like the rain? It dampens their spirit.

I threw my Son’s big purple dinosaur out, he had a massive Barney!!.

My wife gave birth early at only seven months, yet our son was so big he couldn’t even fit in the pusher. Dr’s said he was a pram-mature baby.

Paddy says to Mick “Mick I’m thinking of getting a Labrador puppy ” Don’t do it Mick says have you seen how many Labrador owners go blind!!