Author: DJAdmin

A glue tanker overturned on the highway yesterday…i was stuck in traffic.

“Do you want to hear a joke about a taylor?” “No” “Fine, suit yourself “

Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I only suffered super fish oil injuries, but I’m lucky I wasn’t krilled!

I once went to a surgeon who was a part time comedian. He had me in stitches.

Patient: Doctor I think i have 5 legs.… Doctor: Oh my!…how do your pants fit? Patient: like a glove…

You don’t see many exit signs these days do you, they’re on the way out.

My girlfriend works at the zoo. She’s a real keeper.

A spanish magician told the audience that he will disappear on 3. He said “uno… dos” then *POOF* he disappeared without a tres!

Ice cream van accidents are extremely rare, but always result in the loss of hundreds and thousands.

Lady: Doc, my husband thinks he’s a refrigerator Doc: there’s nothing too serious about that Lady: Oh yes there is, he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake