Author: DJAdmin

I was standing on the beach watching the waves with some Babaghanoush and this random stranger yelled at me what do you think your doing mate ? Mate I’m taking a dip in the ocean!

Saw a strange story on tv last night about a raisin that had cheated in his wife. It was on A Current Affair

Apparently someone’s been stealing patrol dogs. Police say they have several leads.

My dad cannot help himself…He steals people’s toenail clippings and is a bit crazy…I think he’s a clip-toe-maniac!

What do you call a man with no hair? Shaun!

Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Broken Pencil. Broken Pencil who? Never mind it’s pointless.

I thought about that story going round that processed meat can cause cancer; I think it’s spam.

Me: Honey, it’s really muggy out today Wife: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving you Me: (sips coffee from a bowl) Sometimes when I’m working in the garden, it strains my eyes. So I have to use my weeding glasses.

I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.