Author: DJAdmin

Well that’s the wife’s presents sorted, got her a new bag and a belt. That Hoover should pick up great when there fitted. I have a phobia of German sausages…not sure why but I just fear the wurst.

Doc gave me 4 months to live, so i shot him. Judge gave me 20 year.

Wife says to husband “My feet are cold” Husband replies “Mine are cold as well, ones called left and ones called right”

I drove past an ice truck and thought. ………..hey that’s a cool job

My mate runs such a successful bonsai business he has had to move to a smaller shop.

My pet mouse “Elvis” died last night.… He was caught in a trap!!!!

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Cause he was too “far out” man

My dad always used to tell me I’d never amount to much because I’m a terrible procrastinator. Just you wait, I replied. Just you wait…

I hate this idea that Chuck Norris has super-human powers. He is an actor, not God, people. If he really is special, I dare him to magically appear in my house now, sneak up behind me and slam my face into my own keyboarfhcfhvjjvggxddd56576fgz d668/ fhuvgsrxgcyseuhufdgjj^jdn:jenxg&#£h

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.