I entered a marathon, but was a little embarrassed when every few miles, I’d start coughing uncontrollably, and everyone would laugh. I later asked my doctor about it, and he said not to worry, it was just a running gag.
Where would you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school.
My girlfriend is leaving me cause of my obsession with Africa. Uganda be kidding me, Kenya believe it? Well, it’s Ghana be a messy break up.
I just got an email saying ‘At Google earth we can read maps backwards!’ I thought, “That’s just spam.”
I don’t mean to brag but my bank just sent me an email saying that I am outstanding!!..
Why do the French eat snails? Cause they don’t like fast food…
Went on cruise and the Captain informed me that I could drink as much alcohol I liked……..just don’t go overboard.
To the bloke that invented zero, thanks for nothing pal
I was thinking of having a pear earlier……….. but I decided to have just one…..
I Phoned the local council today to ask if i could have a skip outside my house……. they said i could do cartwheels round the block for all they cared.